Hey friend

It’s been a while. Let me tell you, this summer has been a little different than recent summers for me. Our kids are all home and my wife is now running a business. Let’s just say that consistency isn’t the best descriptor of my schedule.

But that’s OK. Some seasons are like that. I try to remind myself often that life comes at us in seasons. We might find ourselves in a season that isn’t ideal, but it’s just a season and seasons always end.

Today I want to share with you an exciting experiment that I’m committing to for the month of August. It’s a 30 Day Digital Detox.

Here’s the deal. I’ve read all the research on the negative effects that smartphones and social media are having on teens and children. It’s really quite alarming. If you want to know where to begin, check out the work of Cal Newport, Jean Twenge, and Jonathan Haidt. Each of these writers has helped me tremendously as a parent and has taught me how I think about technology for my kids.

However, they’ve also made it undeniable that I have a problem too.

I’m way too addicted to my phone and social media.

Over the past six months, I’ve noticed the symptoms of phone addiction worsening. I’m having a hard time focusing, I can’t seem to think deeply or have creative ideas, and in general, I’m more irritable than I would like to be. I take the irritability to be a side effect of my brain being on information overload. Think about a computer with an overloaded CPU and RAM. Eventually, it's going to crash and it's gonna put up a big fight in the form of fan noise anytime you ask it to do something.

It’s not just social media though. Much of my phone time is spent listening to podcasts. I typically listen to 7-8 podcasts a week. Depending on how much time I spend doing chores by myself some weeks it’s more like 10 episodes.

Granted, I’m learning a ton from these podcasts. They’re all educational and focused on topics that help me become the kind of parent, leader, writer, or man I want to be. The problem is information overload. I have more ideas in my head than I could act on in a lifetime. I want to be better about closing the gap between learning and acting.

The other motivating factor is my kids. More and more often I hear them saying something like, “Dad, you’re always on your phone.” Now, they don’t understand the degree of integration my phone has with my work, or how I use it to communicate in general. But, as soon as I think about explaining that to them I realize how stupid that sounds. The truth is that they’re right. I’m on my phone way more than I should be and it pulls my attention away from them.

Perhaps the most important thing driving this choice is this: I simply don’t want to be addicted to anything.

Addiction runs in my family and it doesn’t really matter to me what the focus of that addiction is. I know that I’m deeply tied to my phone in a way that isn’t healthy. I need to break free from the addiction so I’m not a slave to the impulse to constantly know what’s going on or constantly be feeding my brain some new information.

My compulsive learning is a strength. But, without guardrails, it can lead to unhealthy habits that steal from more important pursuits.

My kids are never going to ask me what happened on episode 327 of my favorite leadership podcast. But there’s a good chance they’ll ask me why I didn’t pay more attention to them if I don’t make a change.

All of this might seem a bit melodramatic. I get that. And I’ll admit. It’s a bit hyperbolic. But as anyone who has battled addiction knows, the first step to getting healthy is admitting you have a problem. You can’t sugarcoat it. You can’t minimize. You have to treat it like your enemy and attack the problem with ferocity.

So that’s what I’m up to this month. Who knows, I may give up social media altogether after this.

The Rules

So, what does a 30-day digital detox look like? It could look however you need it to. For me, I’m giving up podcasts, social media, and video media. Except for watching the Olympics or movies with my kids.

In general, the aim is to eliminate those activities that occupy my attention or distract me from more important things like my family or my work.

Each day, I’m going to journal about my experience to try and pinpoint the internal mental and emotional cues that lead to habitually picking up my phone.

I will also film a quick video every day sharing what I’m learning that I can share with others after the 30 days are up.

I know that not everyone feels as tied to their phone as me but I have a feeling I’m not the only Millennial dad struggling with this.

So far, I’m 16 days in. Halfway through the month. I’m already learning some valuable lessons that I’ll write up in a newsletter post at the end of the month. You can also follow me on Instagram @craigmlovelace if you want to see video reflections starting in September.

Let me know if doing a challenge like this would be helpful to you and I’ll reach out with some personal insights that you might find useful.

That’s it for this week.

Keep the faith,

Craig

P.S.

For those wondering why this newsletter has been inconsistent this summer, it boils down to two things. First, my schedule has been all over the place with the kids being home from school for the summer.

Second, I’ve been wrestling with the vision of this project long term. I’ve been writing this now for about a year. I’ve struggled to figure out who it’s really for and the things I’m building on my leadership and vision don’t necessarily align with the content of this newsletter. So, I still intend to write for this but I’m not yet sure what frequency or what focus. I might experiment with some new topics or formats.

If you’ve found my writing and ideas helpful, I’d love to know what it was that you liked. Perhaps that would help me narrow down the focus a little bit.